If This Machine Really Exsited Would You Use It and Is This Funny to You? My Elbow Hurts. I Better Go to The?
Question by sweetbabyangel_91: If this machine really exsited would you use it and is this funny to you? My elbow hurts. I better go to the?
doctor.” “Don’t do that,” volunteered his friend, “there’s a new computer at the drugstore that can diagnose any problem quicker and cheaper than a doctor. All you have to do is put in a urine sample, deposit $ 10, then the computer will give you your diagnosis and plan of treatment.”
The man figured he had nothing to lose, so he took a sample of urine down to the drugstore. Finding the machine, he poured in the urine and deposited $ 10. The machine began to buzz and various lights flashed on and off. After a short pause, a slip of paper popped out on which was printed:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water twice a day. Avoid heavy labor. Your elbow will be better in two weeks.
That evening as the man contemplated this breakthrough in medical science, he began to suspect fraud. To test his theory he mixed together some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and teenage daughter. To top it all off, he masturbated into the jar. He took this concoction down to the drugstore, poured it in the machine and deposited $ 10. The machine went through the same buzzing and flashing routine as before then printed out the following message:
Your tap water has lead. Get a filter.
Your dog has worms. Give him vitamins.
Your daughter is on drugs. Get her in rehab.
Your wife is pregnant. It’s not your baby. Get a lawyer.
And if you don’t stop jerking off your tennis elbow will never get better.
Best answer:
Answer by ildjb
Somehow the machine can tell he’s the same guy with tennis elbow???
It’s ok, but I heard it before.
I’d rather go to a doctor than a machine, though. It’s more personal.
Answer by Anirtak
that was pretty freakin funny :)
Add your own answer in the comments!
Duran Duran's John Taylor Memoir Q&A: Drugs, Rehab and 'Wanker' Sting
Filed under: drug rehab treatment
It wasn't until the early '90s that Taylor finally confronted his personal demons and checked into rehab. Gradually he turned his life around, marrying for a second time, raising a family and rejoining Duran Duran in the early 2000s. The band has since …
Read more on Spinner
Men vs. Women: Does Gender Matter in Addiction Recovery?
Filed under: drug rehab treatment
According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, men are twice as likely as women to meet the criteria for drug addiction in their lifetime (though rates of prescription drug abuse are about equal). The disparity … They progress …
Read more on PsychCentral.com (blog)
Tags: alcohol rehab, national institute on alcohol abuse and alcoholism, addiction recovery, alcohol abuse and alcoholism, addiction rehab, drug abuse