Are Mothers Being Cornered?

Question by Karma Robinson: Are mothers being cornered?
This has been on my mind for quite a while (going on 8 month’s now) and I would love people’s personal opinion’s. My question is based on a few occurrences that have happened to me and I’d like you to tell your story too if you have one.

I’ve noticed that when a mother has a baby, they are no longer considered to have any thought’s and opinion’s on the outside world. They are pushed into “motherland” and are never to return. But as soon as a mother expresses an opinion and a concern that isn’t related to a diaper or breastfeeding or what ever have you, they throw the accusation to you that you have “postnatal depression“.and should seek help… Bear with me I know it’s slightly confusing but I am apart of a mother’s forum on the internet and have written a few off topic posts about opinions like politics, racism, and what ever have you and almost every other mother accused me of having post natal depression because I wasn’t asking about a poopy diaper or milestones. I also asked on here recently about how I should handle a situation with another family member and I had multiple people telling me I should go crawl back in my shell and go back to being a mummy again…

This has happened so many times, and I was wondering, are we no longer viewed as people? Are we just seen as “mother’s” and not the person we use to be before we had our children? Have we lost everything that make’s us, “us”…
To cathl- You have got to be the most hateful and most cynical person I have ever come across on this sight. Do you pride yourself on being a know it all prat? By the sound’s of it you do. And what you stated as your source, is exactly what I do. So read the question again and get off your high horse okay? I wasn’t dictating what my in-laws should and should not do, I simply posted and open question’s for people’s constructive opinions about how I should handle the situation. I didn’t ask anyone for their cynical smart a** comment’s about how they think I’m the problem. You obviously don’t read the question’s right.

Back to the original question (sorry about that) I do find that everywhere I go, internet or no internet, I get this type of behavior from people. And the forum I was on is dedicated to mother’s about motherhood/relationships/money/life in general. It wasn’t specifically a place JUST solely for poopy diapers and teething… I gue

Best answer:

Answer by danielle
I totally understand you! I’m 17weeks pregnant and showing quit a bit me and my boyfriend went swimming the other day and some one said ‘ shouldn’t she be constrating on her unborn child instead off being childish and going swimming’ I’m 16 yrs old& got told swimming was good exercise for pregnant women! And feel that even when I speak to my friends about music or something they automatically think I should just be thinking about my baby!! I just think people think parents shouldn’t be thinking or doing certain stuff anymore but its not right! It doesn’t make us a bad/depressed parent!

Answer by Forever Engaged
Well, there is this kind of mentality that a woman was put on this earth to have children. Your complaint kind of goes hand in hand with the old “you just got married. Are you pregnant yet?” My best friend doesnt want children and nearly broke down into tears because she was asked this so much in her first year of marriage. These are age old female stereotypes. For instance, I went shooting the other day (kids are not allowed in the range, nor would I have brought them) and my dh was watching the kids. Well, a casual acquaintance called me and asked what I was up to and her first question was “Where the heck are your kids?” Almost as if I locked them in a room and went out. Or left them playing in traffic to have down time. Anyway, my advice is this. If you want to avoid the mommy stigma, when you feel like chatting about hot topics find an appropriate chat room and don’t mention the kids. Or stick to mommy topics on the mommy blog. I am not a part of one of those mommy blog communities, but I think if I were, I would appreciate a change of topic or of pace. But to each her own. Good luck.

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