Can You Give Me Some Advice?

Question by joceytinamom: Can you give me some advice?
Its been more or less a year and a half sense I left the father of my two little girls. Violence, substance abuse, verbal abuse, and laziness from his part was all I aver received in return for my love and care. I now have custody of my two little girls per family court, he got drug testing mandated and did not follow thur with it, so per court he is suppose to drug test and pay out of his own pocket for that, now it seems like its my responsibility to call him in for drug testing. In my opinion, ” I want nothing to do with him”. He had his chance to make things right, he took everything I ever did to help him out of his addiction for granted”. At this point and with everything that I have experienced through out the five years of being with him I don’t care about his decisions any longer. He has never supported them in any way, keeps on calling me saying that he wants to see my daughters, that he has money and gifts for them. I do need that money but I don’t want to see him. Please help, what do you advice I do?

Best answer:

Answer by justclicktherubyslippers
You should receive child support from this man. He needs to be gainfully employed and making monthly payments to the state child support office and they send the money to you. He will have to sleep in the bed he made for himself and you need to be looking forward to a better life without this loser.

Answer by Jazzy
Wow, your going through a very hard time in your life. You did all the right things and gave him unconditional love and this is how he repaid you. You are not responsible for him. If he doesnt do this on his own it wont be real. You become an enabler and he becomes co-dependent on you. You need to run far from him. IM betting that he wont keep any of the promises he makes those two little princesses anyway. One day you will meet a good man with character. HE will adopt the girls and be a real father to them. If you accept gifts or money tell him to send them through the court system (child support) not to contact you. By having contact with him you keep yourself from moving on an dhealing. You need to attend some al anon classes so you get a handle on what to expect of him. Also some private counseling would help. You cant live through abuse like you have and come through it unscathed. Your pain is deeper than you think.
You are brave and strong to not want to be involved in his rehab. RUN, far away from him! and good luck

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