How Do I End This Friendship With Grace?

Question by SweetCheeks: How do I end this friendship with grace?
Our friendship has always been one sided. I have tried and tried to talk to her about it. And she doesn’t seem to change. She gets mad at me for stupid things like not hugging her bye. But she can go a month without speaking to me and think that’s just fine. I want to end this toxic relationship. She’s 58 and I’m 20. Both females. I think the age gap is another reason that our friendship is so one sided. I would have never thought to be friends with her. I was “there” when she went through her depression. I was her employee and she kinda clung to my kindness and then when her business closed she became very close to me. She tells me that I’m her angel. That she needs me in her life and as long as I’m apart of her life, she’ll never be lonely. Then on Thanksgiving, she wrote me on FB and said I’m thankful to have you in my life, I may not show it like I should but you’re important to me. Which made me feel like crap.

Best answer:

Answer by xD JOHNNY Dx
skrew grace
your being used
Just leave them

Answer by Stu
Your “friend” is old enough to know better in her behavior, and truly is abusing the relationship. It appears that she is a control freak, and may be using your subservience to suppliment her own failures be it the closed business or all the “gone by the wayside relationships” she had BEFORE she ever met you. Depression, old age, closed businesses? That is HER burden…NOT YOURS.
Putting a “guilt trip” on you by “trumpeting” her sentiments on fb is no excuse for her misbehavior. Too, as everyone KNOWS, “actions speak louder than words”(talk is cheap). Your friend needs HELP. NOT from you, but PROFESSIONAL HELP for her head. Ironically, your “friend” knows all of this, but is “CLINGING” to YOU to avoid it. You are correct in wanting a disconnect…it is time.
Time to live your Life , and enjoy the benefits of a “balanced” relationship with someone else. The current “Master/Slave” thing just isn’t going to work.
Frankly, ending any relationship is rarely easy or painless, and more likely than not your “friend” will claim to “change her ways”, “sweet talk” you, or in some way try to manipulate you to think (or feel) YOU are at fault, and/or to leave her is a mistake . DON’T”fall for that… MOVE ON.

I would suggest that you might contact a “helpline” and talk this out with them. They have resources that can help you, and may have some suggestions for getting your “friend” the help that she needs. You Should make it clear that you are ENDING the relationship, and are NOT interested in being a part of her future. Too, as apparently you are in a Lesbian Relationship, “voicing” your situation may be helpful on Answers.Yahoo in the “gay and Lesbian” section.
They would no doubt be familiar with good ways to “move on” from dysfunctional relationships responsibly and “with grace”.
I hope this was helpful, and wish you well. Good luck. Peace.

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