May You Edit/revise This Please?
by Rowdy Rider
Question by LoneWolf: May you edit/revise this please?
This is part of a LETTER, can you please edit/revise this to make it more persuasive.
Teenage drinking negatively affects both body and life, so why do people do it? I know that some of you may be thinking, “a drink is a drink, beer is no different than soda.” You may think that now, but once I tell you these facts, hopefully you will change your mind. Research from the website, “Learn About Alcoholism,” shows that using alcohol impairs judgment. Therefor, those who are intoxicated are more likely to engage in dangerous behaviors There are serious health risks involved with drinking alcohol. “Teen Drug Abuse,” states that drinking alcohol causes liver damage, high blood pressure, cancer and more. Given these health concerns, is that drink worth it?
How can I add a better counter-argument? I don’t really like the one I have in the paragraph. How can I make it sound more better?
Thanks
Best answer:
Answer by maui
i think it is a very well written article, but instead of saying “You may think that now, but once I tell you these facts, hopefully you will change your mind.”, you should just lead straight into the facts
Answer by QuillSB74
Teenage drinking negatively affects both body and mind, so why do it? Some may be thinking, “beer is no different than a soda.” Consider these facts. Alcohol impairs judgement. Alcohol leads to engaging in dangerous behaviors. Alcohol consumption can create serious health risks such as liver damage, high blood pressure, cancer and more. That’s not quite the same as soda. One good resource for more facts about alcohol abuse is the website Learn About Alcohol, especially the section “Teen Drug Abuse.” Considering all these serious concerns, is that drink worth it?
My advice: state it simply, clearly, and briefly.
Give your answer to this question below!
NAFDAC, NYSC sensitize Lagos drivers, okada riders on drug abuse
Filed under: abuse of alcohol
Continuing, he said: “The United Nations office on Drug and Crime (UNODC) 2012 World Drug Report indicates that alcohol and cannabis are the most abused substances in Nigeria. Further findings in Nigeria revealed that the sale and use of cannabis, …
Read more on The Guardian Nigeria
22% of Lagos drivers test positive for drugs, alcohol
Filed under: abuse of alcohol
Following a recent study which revealed that at least 441 of 2,002 sampled bus drivers in Lagos state tested positive to cocaine and marijuana, the state has stepped up its campaign against substance abuse and alcohol. This statistics was disclosed by …
Read more on Daily Times Nigeria
Tags: high blood pressure, alcohol consumption, drug court, drug abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, drug and alcohol, blood pressure