Online Christian Counseling: Online Counseling and the Challenges of Ending a Relationship

Disappointments, frustrations, irritations, miscommunication, any of these ever occur within a relationship you have had?  Most people that have been involved in an intimate relationship have experienced, to some varying degree, some or all of the above emotional states.  When we open up and share ourselves with another, we expose a sense of our vulnerability.  We contribute parts of ourselves to the relationship itself, thus allowing ourselves to feel a brevity of emotional sensations.  These sensations intensify as the perceived closeness of the relationship progresses.  But why is it the tendency to linger on the feelings of frustration and irritation?  Why is it so difficult to let go of these felt sensations?

Let’s begin at the beginning.  Entering into a new relationship ignites a sense of newness; which is fueled by the intrigue of uncovering unknown aspects of another.  Exploration, in this manner, lends itself to sharing bits of our personality and individual character.  Initially, in revealing parts of ourselves we develop a foundation of trust from the other person.  With time and increased moments of shared experiences, more abstract concepts of ourselves are exposed.  For example, how you like your coffee, what type of shampoo you prefer, things you enjoy surfing the internet for.  These daily nuances, complied with self disclosure, create vulnerability.  This is often what people cling to in oppose to letting go of the relationship. 

But why is the act of letting go easy to think about, yet extremely challenging to put into application? Of course this response will vary from individual to individual, yet fear of the unknown is commonly an underlying factor for the majority of people.  Some will define fear as not wanting to enter the dating scene again.

Others rationalize their situation by continually convincing themselves that their relationship “isn’t that bad”.  However fear is defined, all explanations involve the components of allowing oneself to feel hurt, a deep sadness and a sense of loss for what was.  Avoiding these components perpetuates a relationship and robs it of the opportunity to come to it’s natural end. 

So, perhaps the questions that organically arises its, if fear paralyzes us, then how do we liberate ourselves? The path towards liberation looks different for everyone, so there is not a single “method” of addressing this fear.  Objective support, such as psychological counseling, provides individuals with the opportunity to walk this path with a neutral partner, whose role is to guide one into deeper self reflection, offering the potential to cultivate inner awareness to that which entraps us by fear. Therefore, psychological support, either in person or online, may be an appropriate means to explore individual reasons for those interested in discovering what holds them in relationships, and facing that moment when it is appropriate to let go.

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