Spiritually Speaking, Am I Just Becoming More Developed?(Long Question, but Important One)?

Question by Jack: Spiritually speaking, am I just becoming more developed?(long question, but important one)?
Spiritually and morally, that is. (This is somewhat long, but please read)

A bit about me: I’m 20.5 and nearing my third year of college. When I was growing up I was raised Christian, and volunteered regularly at the make-shift homeless shelter they set up. Good times.

Problem is, as I entered my early teens, a series of very serious health-related concerns began to bombard me. The treatment I received for them—–which inevitably saved my life—–I later learned was opposed by the doctrine of most traditional Christians. When I pressed the issue with some Christian traditionalists, I was called a heathen and the treatment “wicked”.

That confrontation forced my hand to become an Atheist and join both an online and nearby atheist community. (Biggest mistake of my life.)

[Now mind you, this was before the Atheist community in my region(or regions in general) had enough members or notoriety to dogmatize their ideology, or before it got hijacked by some disreputable luddites, fatalists, and nihilists.]

I thought I had finally found a group of people who understood me, my plights, and my conflicted thoughts. Was either too stupid or too blind that they just cared about how many times I erratically spouted “I don’t believe in God!” per day.

As the years passed, and I was around 16-17, I gradually developed a militant perspective online not unlike the abomination that is the dogmatic atheist communities today, yet just before their rise to prominence and notoriety. Eventually, I was confronted by my family member, who very honestly put it, “Just because you’re an Atheist doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole.”, and that shocked me out of my growing militancy and single-minded mindset.

I began to question my newfound beliefs, specifically the black/white morality that I had on issues in both my Christian and Atheist days. In time, I even put a lot more effort into studying spirituality, and realized that my soon-to-be ex-Atheist comrades had been more close minded than I ever knew, and that Christianity was much more legitimate by the day. (I also was beginning to develop a now very real disgust for how certain Atheists in the community—-and around the world——-began to hide behind morally grey defenses for their own abominable actions and psychotic behavior.)

I resolved to become a neutral Agnostic(Christian-leaning) because I was growing sick of the Atheist communities increasingly dogmatic bull-shît, and wanted to distance my self from that community as quickly as possible.

When I left home to travel to a far-off region to college, still with my agnosticism, my thoughts on morality itself were challenged. Particularly, when I had a rather tense confrontation with a series of drug-addicts who not only defended an addiction that would kill them, but actively harassed those who wanted them to get better, claiming “they’re part of the system, man, the illuminati!”. Those people would die with a preventable disease instead of getting help from those that could, and would, save their lives, and that’s sick. From then on, my sense of altruism took a big blow, and I struggled to find a new answer.

Eventually, I resolved that if I can’t help others, I need to at least help myself. So I developed a Christian-leaning opportunist mindset, where I resolved to do everything I can, within legal means, to improve and extend my quality of life, and that of my family. I’m seriously considering going back to Church on a regular basis once I have my perspective on life cleared out. I’m glad I got out of the Atheist community when I did, as I’ve seen the corrupt abomination it has become.(as reflective by the “CWISTIANS ARE DUMB. AMERICA IS REWIGIOUS AND DAREFORE DUMB. ALL PEOPLE WHO HAVE DIFFERENT WORLD VIEWS ARE DUMB.” posts that populate this forum.

I guess my question is, is it normal to devote your outlook on life and sense of morality with age and experience?

Best answer:

Answer by Elegua!
Yes.

Answer by alwbsok
I’m going to guess that you’re American. Your experience of moving towards Christianity as a negative reaction to militant atheism can only really happen where Christianity has a stranglehold on society. Most ex-atheists in other countries tend to move towards religion as a result of positive influence, simply because atheists aren’t so oppressed.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

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