What to Do at This Point?

Question by Kentucky blackberry gal: What to do at this point?
I forgot to mention. I am a christian and he professed his faith last September. he has a college degree in Park Administration, he is 38. I am 52, BS and MAED in education, taught 22 years. I am easy going and try to treat others the way I want to be treated, but my good nature is turning sour…I hate that…
I am married as of last October. My husband is 14 years younger than me, but that is not the issue. When we met he was nice enough. As time went by he became somewhat bossy and acting like he had to educate me on everything. I tried to be the mature one and not show him how little he really knows about life. I have raised 4 kids to adulthood, while his kids are 5, 8, 10. After we married it seems like he has gotten worse in his controlling, rude behavior. His automatic response is that I over react to the way he acts. He talks constantly when we are in the car, never saying anything very important. theres a bird, thers a barn, on and on…. he interrupts me if I am trying to tell him something, usually there went a bird with red wings did you see that????? He thinks he is the authority on everything….he rushes me in the grocery store afraid the milk will ruin before we drive 1 mile. He rearranges things after I have fixed them in the kitchen, ….. I mean I am at a loss…he always wants to apoligize after he finally steps on my very last nerve…I am ready to just pack my bags….

Best answer:

Answer by gymnosphere
You start by saying that your relative age is not the issue. Please rethink that. You may be essentially right, but I see signs that your relative maturity IS a factor.

Your concerns are justified. Several flags have gone up. I see control issues, as well as compulsive behaviors to such a degree that I’m wondering if you’ve left anything out.

You’ve undoubtedly thought of joint counseling, but haven’t done it. Why? BTW, beware of “Christian counseling.” Check the credentials of any counselor; be as wary of any counselor who immediately invokes ‘scripture’ as you would an auto mechanic who does the same.

If he won’t go to counseling, then seek help by yourself to clarify the situation for yourself. If drugs or alcohol (now, previously, or in his family) are a factor in his behavior, attend at least six Al-Anon meetings. [1-888-4 ALANON for meeting information.] Even if alcohol is not a factor, Al-Anon’s program can give you resources to deal with a less-than-perfect relationship of any kind, and can sometimes be a TEMPORARY stop-gap aid in lieu of more expensive counseling. If you need therapy, however, there is no substitute. Good luck.

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