What Would You Do in This Situation if This Was You?

Published August 8, 2012

Question by Gage G: what would you do in this situation if this was you?
ok I have been married for a year and a half, my wife that is 23, has had a pill addiction for about a yr of it that I know about, she went to a counselor/ group meetings for it on her own free will, she stopped the prescription medicine she was taking so much of, but like most addicts (including myself) she started drinking to make up for not taking the pills anymore. long story short, she was kicked out of “rehab” (for the lack of a better way to put it) cause she was showing up smelling like vodka and they wanted her to start AA meetings and she refused saying she don’t have a drinking problem. so now she is up to a bottle a day more or less and popping any pills she can get her hands on; Tylenol PM advil, our 18Month old sons prescriptions,
ETC… I have tried to sit down with her and discuss my concerns, but all that happens is she gets instantly mad and screams she don’t do this stuff and she don’t have a problem and now she try’s to hide all of this. This isn’t just me seeing the problems cause she has been caught trying to steal one of the neighbors meds (take a few out of her bottle when she isn’t looking type of thing, but the owner of them didn’t trust my wife cause she could see through her lies and stuff, and had counted them) I have found empty vodka bottles under the seat of my car and in the garbage cans. I don’t drink and we are the only two that could put them in the garbage…..

I really do love her and don’t want to see her kill herself or allow this addiction to break us up, but at the same time I can’t have our young son around this either. I am permanently disabled so I barely have an income to support myself not counting a child too, but I am the only one that takes care of him and his daily activity’s (diaper changes, baths, meals, Dr visits, ETC…) and her paycheck is going to buying over the counter drugs and alcohol and who know what else, cause the bills are not getting paid now cause of this.

I need advice and would be very grateful for any constructive help that I can get….

a desperate husband and toddler

Best answer:

Answer by ah-ight
intervention.

Answer by ellie
This is a terrible situation for you to be in, and I do feel for you.

Unfortuanately, when you try to talk to your wife, you are not conversing with the woman you loved and married, but to the addiction. It is therefore almost impossible to have a reasonable and logical discussion with her.

You are both so young – it’s so tragic for your wife to be throwing away her youth (and life) like this.

Have you tried talking to someone professional about this? A relationship counsellor, or a trusted medical doctor? If you have a religious belief, perhaps talk with a senior person of the faith you follow? Or is there a sensible family member who might be willing to listen and help you?

Somehow you need to get your wife into AA or a live-in facility. I’m not sure if this can be achieved against her will. You must see a professional person about these issues.

If the child is in any sort of jeopardy, it might be best to leave. Your first obligation now is for the welfare of your son, no matter how much you love your wife. As cruel as it sounds, you cannot live your life under the threat of her suicide, whether intentional or not. She is unstable and it is a very questionable environment for your child to grow up in, even if the evidence of her problem could be hidden from him.

Besides that, I can’t see your marriage being very successful unless she can learn to control or overcome her addiction.

I feel you should not be coping with this by yourself. I hope you are able to get help for yourself and for her.

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